On racism and candy

I originally wrote this in 2015 on Facebook, in response to a meme that ticked me off. (Since the original meme link has decayed, I’m appending a screenshot.) In light of Senate Majority Leader McConnell’s self-serving and tone-deaf comments on reparations, I thought it still a propos. At the least it serve as conclusive proof that I can torture a metaphor with the best of them.

First the meme:


And what it inspired in me:

Of course. And it doesn’t matter at all if the green M&Ms once forced the blue M&Ms to build the candy bowl without pay (and often split up blue M&M families for momentary profit), then after fighting a bloody war amongst the green M&Ms about this, passed laws to make sure the blue M&Ms never got to work, vote, or (you know) read. When that proved insufficient to keep the blue M&Ms “in their place”, the green M&Ms resorted to periodic brutal meltings of the blue M&Ms backed by the tacit — or explicit! — support of the local green M&M government. When, finally, enough green M&Ms had joined the blue M&Ms and declared “Hey, we’re all just delicious chocolate on the inside, so we shouldn’t kill or repress each other”, a vocal minority of the green M&Ms resurrected the warlike logo of their failed movement, melted blue M&Ms again, and tried to hold back the tide of history.

Also, the green M&Ms decided that the sugar in the blue M&Ms — despite being chemically exactly the same as the sugar in green M&Ms — was scary scary dangerous, so they assigned one hundred• times the jail time for having the same sugar, leading to a large fraction of the blue M&Ms being locked away in a different candy bowl. When this shattered more blue M&M families, the green M&Ms tutted and bemoaned the cultural failure of the blue M&Ms to establish sound homes — and used that to justify the fact that the blue M&Ms just never seemed to get ahead, economically (rather than the fact that, at any given moment, a far larger proportion of blue M&Ms were locked in the pantry for non-violent offenses).

The M&Ms might be the same on the inside but it matters how they got where they are.

  • originally I had posted ten times, but in fact, it was worse.

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